Am I violent or aggressive?

Strategies to avoid being violent

If you are being violent or abusive:

  • It is important that you acknowledge your mistakes and accept responsibility for your acts:
    • apologise to the person you hurt (if you think that person might feel uncomfortable with you, ask someone else to be there when you apologise – a friend or classmate of that person or a teacher).
  • Having negative feelings such as rage and frustration is natural. If you feel you are getting angry with someone or something, stop and calm yourself down by thinking of something else, taking a deep breath or counting to 10.
  • Think before you act: unconsidered decisions are often wrong and have negative consequences. Ask yourself “how will I benefit from this abusive behaviour?” or “what would I feel or think if someone did the same to me?” you might be able to stop yourself from making bad choices and wrong behaviours.
  • Try to identify and understand what makes you feel angry and annoyed: you will be able to predict when you are likely to have negative reactions (such as aggressive or violent reactions) and replace them with more adequate reactions (such as stepping away from the person who is annoying you; leave the place where you are instead of becoming aggressive or violent).
  • You can also release or express your negative feelings in non-violent ways: sport (for example, cycling, playing football, dancing, running) is a good way to let off steam.
  • Do things that relax you: listen to music, watch a film, read a book, go for a walk in a place near where you live (in the park, for example).
  • Talk to someone you trust about the violent behaviours: you can talk to the school counsellor or psychologist to get things off your chest about what has been going on and to get some advice. There are professionals who can help you.